The best books for frazzled parents–and their children

Why am I passionate about this?

I began writing my book when my older son was two, and my youngest was less than six months. And if that sounds like a bad idea to you–it was! But despite the madness of trying to write a novel in 5-minute parcels of time, for me, it was a necessary way to reclaim some of my individuality at a time when I often felt I was losing it. I’m so glad I have my book to remind me of the very particular challenges of new parenthood. These are some books I found that helped me do just that.


I wrote...

On The Up

By Alice O'Keeffe,

Book cover of On The Up

What is my book about?

Sylvia lives in a flat on a council estate with her not-quite-husband Obe and their two young children. She dreams of buying a house on a leafy street like the one she grew up in. If she closes her eyes, she can see it all so clearly: the stripped floorboards, the wisteria growing around the door...  It's not ideal that she's about to be made redundant or that Obe, a playworker, is never going to earn more than the minimum wage. But when the estate is earmarked for redevelopment, the threat to her community gives Sylvia a renewed sense of purpose.

Warm, witty, and brilliantly observed, this book is about relationships and community, finding a way through the tough times, and figuring out what's really worth fighting for.

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The books I picked & why

Book cover of The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read: (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)

Alice O'Keeffe Why did I love this book?

Books offering support to parents have come on in leaps and bounds since the days when Gina Ford and Supernanny-style discipline reigned supreme. This book is my go-to book for practical advice.

Perry, a psychotherapist with more than 20 years of experience, is not interested in manipulating children’s behaviour with naughty steps and sticker charts. Her approach may incidentally help to get your children to brush their teeth and eat their vegetables, but her emphasis is on the far deeper and more important business of how to build a mutually respectful and cooperative relationship. Her voice is wise and refreshingly nonjudgmental.

This is one for parents who, in Perry’s words, "Not only love their children but want to like them, too”.

By Philippa Perry,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

THE #1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

From the UK's favourite therapist, as seen on Channel 4's Grayson's Art Club.

'A wonderful book' Richard Osman

'So clear and true ... Helpful for all relationships in life' Nigella Lawson

'A fascinating read on the emotional baggage we all carry' Elizabeth Day
______________________________________________________________________________________

How can we have better relationships?

In this Sunday Times bestseller, leading psychotherapist Philippa Perry reveals the vital do's and don'ts of relationships. This is a book for us all. Whether you are interested in understanding how your upbringing has shaped you, looking to handle your child's feelings or wishing to…


Book cover of Why Love Matters: How affection shapes a baby's brain

Alice O'Keeffe Why did I love this book?

When dealing with difficult behaviour, it can help to understand how your kids’ early experiences may have influenced their emotional landscape.

Sue Gerhardt's book draws on recent developments in neuroscience and developmental psychology to explain how babies’ brains are formed. She shows us that our early, fumbling parental mistakes can have consequences that play out over a lifetime.

As a working parent, I found it a sobering read–Gerhardt pulls no punches about the potentially damaging impact of putting your one-year-old in nursery, for example. But ultimately, the book is so persuasive that it feels worth facing up to these tough questions. She also constructs a compelling case about the long-term social impact of a government’s failure to support parents.

By Sue Gerhardt,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Why Love Matters as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Why Love Matters explains why loving relationships are essential to brain development in the early years, and how these early interactions can have lasting consequences for future emotional and physical health. This second edition follows on from the success of the first, updating the scientific research, covering recent findings in genetics and the mind/body connection, and including a new chapter highlighting our growing understanding of the part also played by pregnancy in shaping a baby's future emotional and physical well-being.

The author focuses in particular on the wide-ranging effects of early stress on a baby or toddler's developing nervous system.…


Book cover of Life with Full Attention: A Practical Course in Mindfulness

Alice O'Keeffe Why did I love this book?

Mindfulness is an essential tool when it comes to surviving family life under pressure. There are hundreds of books on this topic, but for a practical guide, I would first turn to this book by Maitreyabandhu.

The author is a senior teacher at the London Buddhist Centre; this eight-week course is steeped in ancient spiritual teachings but aimed squarely at modern, secular readers who are contending with complicated lives.

By Maitreyabandhu,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Life with Full Attention as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In this eight-week course on mindfulness, Maitreyabandhu gently guides readers, teaching them how to pay closer attention to their experience. Each week, he introduces a different aspect of mindfulness - such as awareness of the body, feelings, thoughts and the environment - and recommends a number of easy practices; from trying out a simple meditation to reading a poem. Featuring personal stories, examples and tempting suggestions, "Life with Full Attention" provides both a starting point and a great reference.


Book cover of When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit

Alice O'Keeffe Why did I love this book?

Fiction can help parents and children put our situations into perspective. During lockdown, my 10-year-old and I treasured some rare moments of calm reading Judith Kerr’s book.

This classic children’s book tells the story of a Jewish family’s escape from Nazi Germany and subsequent exile in Switzerland and France. It surveys some of the most dramatic events of the 20th century with a convincing child’s-eye view and reassures us that a loving family can survive and even thrive in the very worst of times.

By Judith Kerr,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 9, 10, 11, and 12.

What is this book about?

This semi-autobiographical classic, written by the beloved Judith Kerr, tells the story of a Jewish family escaping Germany in the days before the Second World War.

This beautiful new edition celebrates the fifty year anniversary of an adventure that Michael Morpurgo called "The most life-enhancing book you could ever wish to read."

Suppose your country began to change. Suppose that without your noticing, it became dangerous for some people to live in it any longer, and you found, to your surprise, that your own father was one of those people. This is what happened to Anna in 1933.

Anna is…


Book cover of The Flying Troutmans

Alice O'Keeffe Why did I love this book?

In my own precious novel-reading time, I have found myself turning to books that look frankly and fondly at familial imperfection.

This book by Miriam Toews follows Hattie, her 11-year-old niece Thebes, and her 15-year-old nephew Logan as they cross the US in a dilapidated camper van, looking for the kids’ father.

Toews combines comedy with proper heartbreak to remind us that, in a messed-up world, we are sustained by the love of our families–flaws and all.

By Miriam Toews,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Flying Troutmans as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'In this chaotic world the only stability comes from our love for one another, quirks and all. In Toews's hands, that can be funny or heartbreaking, usually at the same time.' Washington Post

Meet the Troutmans. Hattie is living in Paris, city of romance, but has just been dumped by her boyfriend. Min, her sister back in Canada, is going through a particularly dark period. And Min's two kids, Logan and Thebes, are not talking and talking way too much, respectively. When Hattie receives a phone call from eleven-year-old Thebes, begging her to return to Canada, she arrives home to…


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Snow on Magnolias

By Betty Bolte,

Book cover of Snow on Magnolias

Betty Bolte Author Of Notes of Love and War

New book alert!

Why am I passionate about this?

Author Author Editor Traveler Crocheter Reader

Betty's 3 favorite reads in 2023

What is my book about?

Magnolia Merryweather, a horse breeder, is eager to celebrate Christmas for the first time after the Civil War ended even as she grows her business. She envisions a calm, prosperous life ahead after the terror of the past four years. Only, all of her plans are thrown into disarray when her secret lover returns and starts asking questions she can’t answer without disaster following.

Bryce Day comes home to Alabama after he’s discharged from the First Alabama Cavalry USA with guilt weighing on his heart. His neighbors won’t cotton to his Unionist bent, and the woman of his heart likely won’t give him a second chance after his silence during the war. Only, she’s hiding something from him.

How can they have any hope of a loving life together with lies and secrets between them?

Snow on Magnolias

By Betty Bolte,

What is this book about?

One terrible lie, a desperate measure to save her past, just might destroy her future…

Award-winning author of historical fiction presents a new novel of love and lies, secrets and sensuality, and the hands of fate weaving it all together.

The American Civil War is finally over and Christmas beckons. Magnolia Merryweather, backyard horse breeder, is eager to celebrate for the first time since the war began even as she continues to grow her business. She envisions a calm, prosperous life ahead after all the terror of the past four years. She’s preparing to follow in her mother’s matriarchal footsteps,…


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